So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
nutella sex= disaster
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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