That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Let's get the cat blown out
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
