Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Farmville is her only friend.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
