Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
