I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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