Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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