Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
