I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
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