Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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