I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
