Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
