I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
