Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
