I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
