hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
