Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Go christen that room with your naked body.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
