remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
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