oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
