The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
