Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
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