apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
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