I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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