Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
did you just send me my own nude
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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