Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
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