I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
