i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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