i just had sex bonerless
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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