YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I enjoy the company of your penis
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
