So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
