I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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