I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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