they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize