i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize
