I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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