I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
