so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
you had me at cake vodka
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
