haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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