His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
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