you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
