im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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