He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
