oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
