I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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