do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
