i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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