i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
