More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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