What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
