Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
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