I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
